It has been ages since I’ve been here. Internet connection has been crappy lately and my computer’s so unreliable! Need to have this fixed. I wish I know a way how to post from my phone … been looking around, but haven’t found that app yet!
Things haven’t been so great lately, though. My mom passed away (honestly, I didn’t expect it) and I still haven’t gotten round to totally accepting it yet. Knowing that she won’t be back home this Christmas … it seems pretty weird. Well, we normally don’t go home during the Christmas break (because it’s only two weeks) but usually during summer vacation (more than a month) we go home. We – meaning, my sons and I. Sometimes hubby tags along, but he can’t stay long because of work.
We all miss her. I wish she was still here. But that’s just not possible. I think it’s time she go where she really wants to go.
Funny thing … while in the hospital, Manang Lydia (who was with her at that time) heard Mama say (with her eyes closed),”Don’t leave me.” The only other people inside the room were two grandchildren, and Papa. Manag Lydia said,”We didn’t leave you.” Mama replied (with her eyes still closed), “You all left me just recently.”
Dealing with the loss of a loved one is hard. For me, anyway. I know she waited for me to arrive before leaving us. We – my sons and I – couldn’t just leave because of school. We arrived on a Friday (decided to let the kids skip school on Friday) and she left us on Saturday. The thought still leaves a sharp ache in my chest (I hope this isn’t serious!) … puny attempt at being funny here. :-/
She wanted to be cremated, but there was no such facility being offered in our province. Interment was scheduled the next day after she left us. You know, I just couldn’t bring myself to say “died/dead”. I mean, her spirit is still around, am sure. So, it’s only her body that’s stopped functioning … she just “left”. Getting weird and crazy here. LOL
Anyway, before my computer conks out … better sign off. For now. :)