MIA – That’s me

It has been ages since I’ve been here. Internet connection has been crappy lately and my computer’s so unreliable! Need to have this fixed. I wish I know a way how to post from my phone … been looking around, but haven’t found that app yet!

Things haven’t been so great lately, though. My mom passed away (honestly, I didn’t expect it) and I still haven’t gotten round to totally accepting it yet. Knowing that she won’t be back home this Christmas … it seems pretty weird. Well, we normally don’t go home during the Christmas break (because it’s only two weeks) but usually during summer vacation (more than a month) we go home. We – meaning, my sons and I. Sometimes hubby tags along, but he can’t stay long because of work.

We all miss her. I wish she was still here. But that’s just not possible. I think it’s time she go where she really wants to go.

Funny thing … while in the hospital, Manang Lydia (who was with her at that time) heard Mama say (with her eyes closed),”Don’t leave me.” The only other people inside the room were two grandchildren, and Papa. Manag Lydia said,”We didn’t leave you.” Mama replied (with her eyes still closed), “You all left me just recently.”

Dealing with the loss of a loved one is hard. For me, anyway. I know she waited for me to arrive before leaving us. We – my sons and I – couldn’t just leave because of school.  We arrived on a Friday (decided to let the kids skip school on Friday) and she left us on Saturday. The thought still leaves a sharp ache in my chest (I hope this isn’t serious!) … puny attempt at being funny here. :-/

She wanted to be cremated, but there was no such facility being offered in our province. Interment was scheduled the next day after she left us. You know, I just couldn’t bring myself to say “died/dead”. I mean, her spirit is still around, am sure. So, it’s only her body that’s stopped functioning … she just “left”.  Getting weird and crazy here. LOL

Anyway, before my computer conks out … better sign off. For now. :)

Mama

Shot taken from my niece’s recent post on Facebook

My Youngest

My youngest prefers guitars to balls sometimes. That’s why when he saw one of those fano guitars online, he got excited and told me he wanted one when he grows up! Well, am happy he wants one only when he grows up, and not right now. lol. It would make a serious dent on our household budget!

I have been looking around and seeing if his schedule will permit a guitar lesson during the weekends. Unfortunately, that would mean no more sleeping late on Saturday mornings, too. I still haven’t found any teacher nearby … unless we go further and find him a teacher over at UP Diliman. That would be great … and it might sound really selfish of me, but I really don’t like the idea of me giving up on my late Saturday mornings!

But no rush, yet. He’s still young (only 6years old) and let’s see if he still likes to take guitar lessons by next year. :)

Rainy Saturday

It’s only my youngest and I here at home right now, and it has been drizzling every now and then. We are both busy doing our own thing- him with his coloring and me with the computer. Well, must admit: the television is on, too. ;)

Miss having hubby around here to help me. Not just with the household chores, but with decision making, too. He’s now based in Mindanao and coming here (Luzon) every month  would make quite a dent in our budget, what with the plane fares these days! Well, there are promos but you just can’t get them all the time.

We need to make loads of adjustments, I know. Just that I feel so alone, at times. Am not alone in this, I know. Am lucky that hubby is just “relatively near” compared to some who work abroad.

Life. We need to make adjustments and cope. Life.

Music is Universal

No doubt about it: Music is a universal think. More and more musicians seems to be cropping up, and am sure there’s no stopping them. I personally think that’s great! I like listening to music, though not particularly the “noisy” ones. It’s actually the melody and beat that gets to me first. It’s interesting how well some people can convey what they feel through their music. It’s something magical. And they need all the support that we can give.

Though lately I prefer the sentimental and quiet ones. :)

Morning View (while walking)

Usual view, while going home. These days it has been rainy, and really wet and humid. I don’t like much the icky feeling while walking, but…I’d rather walk, really, rather than ride. Sure, a ride would be easier and faster…but I’d still rather walk. :P

Last week hubby was around, so there were days that I rode going back home; we even had breakfast together. lol. Oh, don’t get me wrong! I LOVE and enjoy the precious times we get to spend together, just us. Even if it creates havok with my schedule. :D

Now that hubby’s left for work again, we’re back to our usual selves.
Routine. Routine. Routine.
… which, hopefully, will be disrupted again after two weeks. :)